Decisions, time and right or wrong

We're constantly making decisions - what to eat, which job to take, who to marry, where to live. Sometimes others decide for us, but mostly we're the ones choosing. And here's what's interesting: we spend a lot of mental energy judging these past choices.

Ask yourself about any major decision you've made, and you'll probably answer with "right" or "wrong." Maybe followed by "I wish I could change it" or "Thank God I made that choice."

But here's what I've noticed after really thinking about this - there's only one thing that determines whether we consider a decision good or bad: when we're asked about it.

Think about it. You might feel great about skipping that high-stress corporate job when you're enjoying work-life balance. But when money gets tight, suddenly that same choice feels like a mistake. The decision didn't change - your situation did.

This happens with everything. The relationship you ended might feel like the right call when you're happily single, then feel like a huge error when you're lonely. Even decisions others made for us, or situations completely outside our control, shift in our minds based on what's happening now.

So why do we get so attached to judging our past choices, especially the ones that feel "bad"?

In my IT work, I see this with technology decisions all the time. A framework choice that seemed perfect two years ago looks outdated today. But that doesn't make it wrong - it was right for the context back then.

Yet we beat ourselves up as if we should have predicted the future perfectly.

Here's the liberating part: if time is what makes decisions feel right or wrong, then nothing is actually final. You can't go back and choose differently, but you can absolutely influence how yesterday's choices play out tomorrow.

That career pivot that feels like a mistake right now? Tomorrow you might discover it gave you exactly the skills you need for an opportunity you can't even see yet. The relationship that ended badly? It might have taught you what you actually need in a partner.

This changes how we can think about making choices today. Instead of agonizing over finding the "perfect" decision, we can make the best choice with current information, knowing we'll have countless opportunities to shape how it unfolds.

Nothing in life is truly final. Everything keeps changing, including the meaning of our past choices. Even when past events caused real pain, we always have this moment to decide what they'll mean going forward.

Go ahead and make that choice you've been avoiding. Fear not - there's always tomorrow to make it meaningful, if not entirely pleasant. The goal isn't perfect decisions; it's understanding that every choice is just your best response to right now, and tomorrow offers new ways to build on that response.

That's the real beauty of it all.