Identity

While we are anything in life, we are suffering.

Be a boss, an employee, a husband, a wife, or any role.

As long as you assume a role, you have to bear the pain and pleasure of the role.

The irony of human life is we are evolving animals, and for any evolutionary process, pain is inevitable. Consider a child being born, that's the evolution of life, such suffering to be in the womb for so many months and still the life has to go through it to fulfill its potential.

The same is true for us, we have to suffer the pain of identity as long as we are evolving. So all this is great, how do we live with it? Glad you asked and if only I knew. But I am realizing a few things lately.

You are not only one role in life, no one is. Just that we don't experience life like that.

When one role is painful, find solace in other roles. E.g. when you are a bad husband, why not be a good employee or a boss? And the other way round, you can always find some role where you are doing great and take refuge in that.

So try this, next time you have a bad day at work, go back to your family and be a great dad. Or be the creative person who enjoys painting.

This will not relieve the pain, but will surely help you live with it. As the impact of it doesn't matter as much, as long as your identity is satisfied with some other role in life.

That's why it is important to have multiple identities, think of a roof with multiple pillars to support it. If one pillar is weak there are so many others to rely on, have so many that even if few fall apart, you are fine.

So be a painter, a poet, a blogger, a traveler, dad, husband, son, boss, businessman, monk, and whatnot, more the merrier. You don't have to be great at all of these, you just have to be all of these.

In short, have a big ego comprised of multiple identities, but a small ego of a single one.