THE COST OF EXCELLENCE

I was talking to someone recently and realized how we humans tend to glorify success beyond what life really is. We make it larger than life. This person was looking for a partner who had to be super successful in his career — someone big, a top shot, as they say. At that point, I asked her: what if he isn't great with intimacy? What if he's not outgoing or expressive? Would that be acceptable? She thought about it for a while, but the answer eventually came out as no — he needs to be great at those things too. Very social, very romantic.

That got me thinking. We've all seen people who are highly successful — those who've really made it in their fields. That genius with rapid promotions in your office. The writer who churns out bestsellers like a machine. The banker managing hundreds of millions.

But here's where it gets interesting — and maybe a little uncomfortable. My observation of such people: they're brilliant at what they do, but often, it comes at a cost. They've compromised in other areas of life. It could be health, relationships, social skills, or just overall well-being. In most cases, they're lacking in at least one — if not several — of these. And sometimes the gap is so wide that they become outliers on the other end of the spectrum. Like someone who's insanely rich but talks to people like they're beneath them. Or someone who's deeply respected professionally but is obese or battling depression.

Broadly speaking, life revolves around three things — well-being (physical and mental), financial success (career, wealth, social recognition), and relationships (family, spouse, kids, close friends). And as you'd guess, these are interconnected. Poor health affects your career. Messy relationships can drain your mental health.

And with limited time, energy, and attention, it's hard to be excellent at all three. Often, those who are at the very top in one area are below average in the others. That's the cost of excellence — something always gives.

So before you set your sights on that next big promotion or feel inadequate next to someone's seemingly perfect career, ask yourself what you're really after. What parts of life matter most to you? Because excellence demands payment, and the currency is often the other areas of your life.

Maybe real success isn't about being extraordinary in one dimension while neglecting the rest. Maybe it's about finding your own version of balance — having enough success to feel fulfilled, enough health to enjoy it, and enough connection to share it.

The wisest among us might not be those pushing boundaries until something breaks, but those who know exactly where their boundaries should be. After all, when we look back at our lives, it won't be that one massive achievement we remember, but all those small moments of meaning that added up to something real.

So what will you choose? Excellence at a cost, or balance with contentment? There's no universal right answer — only the one that's right for you.